Description

The Bullywumpus is a fearsome beast that paces back and forth, grumbling and growling to itself.

The Shopkeep stands in front of the Bullywumpus as if minding a store.

The Shopper enters the scene and tells the Shopkeep, "You gotta help me! It's my Best Friend's birthday and I need a really great present!"

The Shopkeep suggests various "normal" pets, like a goldfish or canary. "That's too normal. I need something exotic!"

The Shopkeep suggests something more exotic, like a boa constrictor or a macaw. "No, I need something awesome! Like that" The Shopper points at the Bullywumpus.

"Oh, I'm not sure you want THAT," says the Shopkeep.

"What is it? What does it do?" asks the Shopper.

The Shopkeep explains that this is the terrible Bullywumpus. He points to an object on-stage (for example, a chair), and says, "Bullywumpus, the chair!"

The Bullywumpus immediately runs over to the chair and starts beating on it, howling angrily, until the Shopkeep cries, "Bullywumpus, heel!" at which point the Bullywumpus returns to pacing and grumbling.

"That was neat," says the Shopper, "but will it attack anything?"

"Oh yes, anything you tell it to attack," says the Shopkeep.

The Shopper points to another object on stage (for example, a cooler), and says, "Bullywumpus, the cooler!"

Just like before, the Bullywumpus runs over to the object and savagely beats on it until called back with, "Bullywumpus, heel!"

"OK, I'll take it!" says the Shopper, pantomiming an exchange of money with the Shopkeep.

"Very well," says the Shopkeep. "Your funeral." The Shopkeep exits as the Best Friend comes on-stage.

"Hey! Look what I got you for your birthday," says the Shopper.

The Best Friend looks at the Bullywumpus and makes a face of disgust. "What IS it?"

"It's a Bullywumpus!" says the Shopper proudly.

"Bullywumpus, my butt!" says the Best Friend.

The Bullywumpus chases the Best Friend off-stage howling while the Shopper runs after crying, "Heel! Heel Bullywumpus, heel!"

Requirements

Two large, rugged objects on stage (we generally use a camp chair and a cooler) for the Bullywumpus to attack. Anything you can do to make the Bullywumpus look like a wild man or beast also adds to the comical effect.
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Submitted by: Henry Molotov

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