(Tune: "If You're Happy and You Know It")
Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud.
Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud.
I would ooey and I'd gooey,
Under everybody's shoey.
Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud.

Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop.
Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop.
I'd go down with a slurp,
and come up with a burp.
Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop.

Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root.
Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root.
I would sit upon the trail,
And knock everyone on their tail.
Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root.

Oh, I wish I were a little bitty orange.
Oh, I wish I were a little bitty orange.
I'd go squirty, squirty, squirty,
Over everybody's shirty.
Oh, I wish I were a little bitty orange.
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